~*~Flashback~*~
by She-Ra Princess of Power
Summary: What if you were given the chance to go back in time and right the wrongs you have committed...
1. Default Chapter

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December 24, 20__

Dear Diary:

Do you remember the time when I was faithfully wrote to you day in and day out? Every little thing that happened in my life, I told you, diary, my oldest and dearest confidante.

As of late, I know I have neglected you, and for that, I am sorry. But my reasoning is simple: in my self deluded mind, I thought that if my story was not recorded in history, then perhaps my story would cease to exist.

I now know that is not the case.

Fairytales do not exist, dear friend. Fairytales are for dreamers, for those who have something (or, someone) to believe in.

The dreamer that you knew is no more. 

The girl that you knew is no more.

She once had someone to believe in, and had someone to believe in her.

Wait. Flashback.

I still believe in someone.

But he no longer believes in me.

And that is the blade that killed the girl. The dreamer.

Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald.

Daughter of Pilar. 

Sister of Luis and Miguel.

Fiancée of Ethan.

Do you remember the day that Whitney and I went to the Harmony Carnival? When we went to the FortuneTeller, to see what our futures may behold?

Do you remember my joy, dear friend, as I told you of what would become of me? That I would become Mrs. Crane, Mistress of Raven Hill, all of my dreams just waiting to become a reality?

And do you remember what I was most joyous about? 

Not that I would be living in the mansion on the hill.

Not that I would be living the life of luxury.

No, what I was most joyous about was that I would be Mrs. Ethan Crane. 

I would be married to Ethan.

Oh, but diary, how I was wrong! In my fantasy world, I failed to remember that there was yet another Mr. Crane. Julian Crane, Ethan's father.

And so, today, you know the truth. The glimpse into my future was what was to truly happen.

I am Theresa Crane.

Wife of Julian.

Mother of Katherine Leigh.

But I suppose I should be a bit more up front with you. I know that you are not one to judge me.

My one true friend.

As you may recall, I was on track to becoming Mrs. Ethan Crane. 

I was also on track to become the world's biggest liar.

God, when I think back to the stupid things I did, I inwardly cringe!

I loved Ethan.

Wait.

Flashback.

I still do.

My love for Ethan, though, was not pure. I won him through manipulations. I did not fight fair. 

Then, once I had him, I did not trust enough in our love. I lied, schemed, did everything in my power to hold on to him. 

And what do I have to show for all of my hard work?

Not a damn thing.

Honesty is the most wonderful gift you could ever give to someone. I know that now. Ethan's love for me was pure. And now it is gone.

I hold on to that love. It keeps me going when I think I no longer can. That, and darling Kate, of course.

God, I'm so pathetic! Why am I sitting here, reminiscing over time long past?

But you know why, dear friend. It is Christmas. If I were still the girl that you once knew, I might wish upon a star for a Christmas miracle. 

Because miracles do happen. Both of us know this. We witnessed one.

Ethan Crane fell in love with a girl that we both once knew.

And she broke him.

And she is more sorry for that than anyone will ever know.

Theresa Crane sighed as she wrote the last line in her old diary. The Crane Mansion was one of silence, and it comforted her to have found her dear friend. To speak her thoughts without being judged.

Not a day went by when she did not think of Ethan. 

And not a day went by when she was not reminded of her past actions.

No apology would ever be enough.

Outside, a light snow was falling. Wrapping her silk robe tightly around her body, Theresa walked to the French doors in her room that led to the terrace and opened them. She stepped outside, ignoring the frosty cold. She let her eyes move towards the sky, and she gasped. 

The clouds had parted for a moment, and she was able to spot the North Star. Bright and mighty, as always. How long had it been since she had seen it?

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Before the girl she had once been died.

The girl had not completely died, though. Theresa could feel her coming back to life as she gazed at that star, could feel her taking over her mind...

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Starlight, Starbrite, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight...

I wish that I had not lied and schemed to win Ethan. I wish that my love had been as pure as his. I wish that Ethan still believed in me. I wish I was still that girl who had so much life in her. But most of all, I wish Ethan the happiness that he deserves.

Theresa dropped her eyes, and a biting wind suddenly blew over the terrace. The French doors slammed behind her, causing her to jump. Chilled to the bone, Theresa walked back inside and climbed into her bed. With the warmth of her flannel sheets covering her, Theresa was able to let her eyes slowly close, and let the memories take over...

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Flashback...


	2. My Miracle

**_Chapter One_**

Desperately trying to hold on to the last precious moments of sleep, Theresa rolled onto her stomach and pulled her pillow over her head. 

Until she remembered what day it was. 

Christmas. 

Not that Christmas was something joyful to her anymore. But to Kate, Christmas was still magical and exciting. 

As she pulled the pillow from her head, her eyes slowly opened, finally focusing in on her nightstand. 

And the framed 8x10 of Ethan Crane that sat upon it.  
  
Theresa quickly sat up and glanced around her room. 

_This is still my dream…_

She squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them once more. 

This was no dream. 

Everything was the way she remembered. 

The battered furniture, painted cream by Luis when she had whined that it looked like a Goodwill store in her room. The stack of fashion and society magazines, sitting in a pile on her desk. A pile of laundry in the corner, waiting to be washed. 

The dozens of pictures of Ethan tacked to her walls, his face enclosed by red hearts drawn with magic marker. 

Theresa could already feel last nights dinner starting to surface. 

She opened the drawer to her nightstand, digging through the mess until she located the remote control to her TV set. As she turned on the TV, Charlie Gibson welcomed viewers to _Good Morning America_. 

"Happy Monday! It's July 5th, 1999, and the time is 8:00. Good morning, America!" 

Theresa stared at the television in disbelief. 

"Where is Kate?" she murmured to herself, jumping out of bed. She flung the door to her room open and stepped into the hallway of the Lopez- Fitzgerald house. Her eyes darted every which way, hands trembling nervously. 

This house had burned down nearly six years ago. 

Grabbing the wall for support, she pulled herself down the hall to the kitchen, where she could hear her mother singing softly. As soon as she got to the kitchen table, she collapsed into a chair, her whole body now shaking. 

"Theresita! What a wonderful surprise! What are you doing up this early? I know that the dance on the wharf kept you out late last night." Pilar wiped her hands on a towel and walked over to her daughter, pulling her into her arms. Suddenly, she pulled away, a look of concern in her eyes. 

"Mija, what is wrong? Your body is trembling, and you are as white as a ghost!" 

"Mama, where is Kate?" 

Theresa raised her eyes to her mother imploringly. Where was her daughter? And why was she back in her old house, a house that had burned to the ground? What was going on? 

She had gone to bed last night in the Crane mansion, after tucking Kate into bed, and a stony goodnight to Julian. She had gone to her bedroom and found the box with her old diary in it… 

"Do I know Kate? Did she stay the night?" Pilar's gentle voice snapped Theresa from her reverie. 

_Wait a second_, Theresa thought to herself, _Mama doesn't know who Kate is…_

"No, Mama," Theresa replied, her voice thick with emotion, "Kate is my _daughter_. Your granddaughter. Katherine Leigh Crane. Age five." 

Pilar let out a discouraged sigh and walked back over to the dishes. 

"Dios mio, my Theresa. How many times do I have to tell you that Ethan Crane will never love you? No more of these silly fantasies. They will only hurt you in the end." 

Staring at her mother in disbelief, Theresa pulled herself out of the chair and stood up. As she did, the last part of the night before came crashing into her mind… 

_Starlight, Starbrite, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight… _

_  
I wish that I had not lied and schemed to win Ethan. I wish that my love had been as pure as his. I wish that Ethan still believed in me. I wish I were still that girl who had so much life in her. But most of all, I wish Ethan the happiness that he deserves._

Suddenly, everything made sense. 

"Oh my God," Theresa whispered, grasping the ledge of the table for balance. "This is my flashback. My miracle." 

_This is my chance to right all of my wrongs…_

"Theresa? Did you say something?" 

Before Theresa could answer, the room started to swim, and then there was only black… 


	3. We once again meet

**__**

Chapter Two

July 5, 1999 (version two)

Dear Diary,

I am lost. Completely, utterly lost. How is this possible? You, my friend, are my savior. My proof to myself that I am not insane.

How can this be happening?

Last night's diary entry is proof that I am not going crazy.

The previous entries from 1999 are my proof that my sanity is still intact.

Flashback.

I am no longer Theresa Crane.

She has never existed.

I am once again Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald. Dreamer, schemer.

Liar.

The girl is reborn.

Did she ever die?

I can feel her life already bubbling to the surface, her energy and zest waiting to be unleashed once more.

But can Theresa Crane really go away?

The woman that the girl became is still alive and kicking, too, of that I can assure. She is a little more cautious, a lot wiser. She knows the truths of this.

She has seen pain, seen misery.

She has lived pain, lived misery.

She has caused pain, caused misery.

She is the Queen of pain and misery.

Theresa Lopez- Fitzgerald, meet Theresa Crane.

Together, you can right the sins of the past.

Flashback, Theresa.

This is your life.

A 26-year-old, trapped inside the body of one 17.

Live your life, Theresa.

Live your life with the youthful enthusiasm of days past.

But also live it with the knowledge you possess.

So, in conclusion, dear diary, thank you for existing. Thank you for holding the secrets and sins of the past.

Only with you can I make my flashback worth while.

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"Theresa, did you see that? My sugar bear is completely 'on' today!"

Theresa glanced up from her diary and smiled down at TC Russell. A wide grin had taken over his entire face, pride apparent for his oldest daughter.

She had lived this scenario before, only with a few changes. Watching Whitney practice tennis at the high school. Creaming her opponents.

Theresa sitting in the bleachers, wearing her favorite floral dress. Her brand new white sweater covering her shoulders. Her "meeting Ethan Crane" outfit.

Flipping through society magazines, looking for photos and stories on Ethan, drawing evil faces on Gwen Hotchkiss…

Well, there would be no more of that.

Once Theresa had woken up on the floor of her mother's house, she had done her best to make sure that neither her mama nor her brothers thought she was a complete wacko. When Theresa had blacked out, Pilar called in Luis and Miguel, and the three had finally gotten her to come to. After firing off a never ending round of questions, she had done her best to cover, saying that yes, indeed, she must have had a dream about marrying Ethan, and they had had a daughter named Kate. 

She felt horrible about starting off her new life with a lie, but what could she do? It wasn't like she could tell her family that she was really Theresa Crane, wife of Julian Crane. **_That_** would go over real well.

So, after their well-meaning inquisition, she had darted back to her bedroom, ripped down her shrine to Ethan, and thrown it all away. Every item that bore his face, his name, ended up in a trash bag. The society magazines, **_everything_**…

"Mr. Russell, Whitney is always 'on'," she called back, smiling at her best friend. Her perfect, perfect best friend.

It was so wonderful to see Whitney playing tennis again. After she became pregnant by Chad Harris, she had given up her life long passion to care for her baby…

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July 5th, 1999 (version three)

Not really an entry, but a mental note to myself: once Chad Harris arrives in Harmony, somehow help him and Whit get together in a timely fashion. None of this three years to hook up crap. And once they do get together, make sure that they tell Simone about it, ASAP. Also, start in early on the importance of a selecting a birth control method…

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"Summer in Harmony is the best," Theresa said wistfully a few hours later as she and Whit walked around the high school grounds. The Harmony summer carnival was in full swing, and Theresa couldn't wait to relive a part of her childhood. "It reminds me of happier times, you know?"

Looking at Theresa with bewilderment, Whitney said, "Theresa, when in the past few years have you ever had a time that wasn't happy?"

A heated blush made it's way up Theresa's neck as her mind fumbled for a reply.

"Oh, look, Theresa, there's the snow cone stand. Daddy would kill me for doing this, but I'm going to go get one. Do you want me to get you a coconut one?"

Phew. That was a close one. Theresa was really going to have to watch herself. But this whole flashback thing was proving to be a lot harder than she thought! Being 17 again was… _difficult_, to say the least. 

"Um, no, I think I'm going to go stand in the shade for a minute. It's pretty warm out here. Thanks, though." 

Theresa walked over to the tent that was to later hold the Hottest Man in Harmony pageant, and pulled her diary out of her purse.

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July 5th, 1999 (version four)

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Dear Diary,

Oh, how wonderful it is to be back in the prime of my youth! Everything is so pure, so untainted. Except me, of course.

Though, I am having a bit of difficulty trying to be Theresa of old again. I keep forgetting what the girl would and would not do, what the girl would and would not say, how the girl would and would not act.

But, oh, this is so amazing! The carnival was always one of my favorite things, and now, here I am! It is just such a joy to stand here once again, to smell the cotton candy and kettle corn, to hear the sounds of laughter and amusement rides. It makes me want to weep and giggle uncontrollably at the same time.

Dear friend, I am so happy knowing that you are here with me through this. That I am not in this alone! 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Theresa capped her pen, and put her diary back into her purse. She backed up, gazing at the bustling carnival activity, her excitement steadily building. 

Then, her back bumped into something solid.

She looked up, and to her horror, a pail of blue paint was teetering precariously on the edge of a ladder.

She shifted her eyes over to the handsome young man who stood beside that ladder, and Theresa knew what she had to do.

She lunged at the man, knocking him out of the path of the blue paint. He landed on the concrete ground with a thud, and the paint fell onto Theresa.

She stood there, the paint dripping down her face onto her almost new shoes. Pooling in a puddle at her feet.

Oh, the irony of it all!

The man stared up at Theresa in shock and amazement. She let out a soft laugh, and closed her eyes.

_It has begun._

I have altered our fates, young man.

We once again meet, Ethan Crane…

And our lives will never be the same again.

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End file.
